Well I'm really missing home right now. I can't sleep tonight, so here I am...I'm tired of doing my cross stitch. I miss our cat, I miss our friends, I miss my family, I miss my bed, I miss my laundry room (mostly because I don't have to save up change to use it like I do here)...I think you get my drift.
Today we went to church, it was a great uplifting church...but not home. This is a big church, there are 4 services (2 on Saturday evening and 2 on Sunday mornings) and the one we went to was full. It was different, the praise and worship was awesome (just like home) but the message was a video...it was a great message but I missed having a real life pastor in front of me. I guess it is what I'm used to, next week we are going to the Saturday service when they tape the message. I guess the fact the Michaela didn't go to Sunday School and was fidgety during the service may have affected how I felt during it.
Ron and I were talking tonight about things now...it seems like forever that this has been going on. Like our lives are now divided, before cancer and after cancer...maybe it will feel different when we get home.
I think it seems so strange because we left so suddenly...I mean I had to ask my sister to take out the garbage and run the dishwasher so I wouldn't come home to a smelly house. That is how quickly we left, I guess with everything going on I haven't really had the chance to think too much about home.
I don't want to complain too much about being here, we do have a good motel suite, lots of family close by...oh and after Ron's first week of treatments he is feeling great!!
Anyway I'm going to try and get to bed now, and if you wonder why I listed missing the cat before my family and friends it is because we hear from our family a lot but the cat never calls!!
GOOD NIGHT!!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Just the Beginning
Well Ron's treatments started yesterday. He is having daily radiation and chemotherapy, this was his second day and he is feeling pretty darn good. I'm praising God for that and we pray that he will continue to feel so well.
He is so positive that it is hard to imagine what is going on in his body, I love his attitude.
We have been really open with Michaela during this, she is aware that her daddy has a tumour in his head and it was giving him headaches. She now knows that the doctors are going to shrink it and then daddy will be all better. Wow I wish life were that simple!! She loves to go to the cancer clinic because they have great toys to play with, the people there are so nice.
My sister and BIL are here this week visiting and are such a wonderful couple, they are so Godly and such a spiritual connection for us. We have had a great time with them, my BIL as an elder in his church has anointed Ron with oil and prayed over him...such a powerful statement of faith.
I know that God can heal Ron, I have no doubts about it...He is all powerful. If it is His will then this tumour will be gone in an instant...I know that God has a plan for us.
Well that is about it for today!!
He is so positive that it is hard to imagine what is going on in his body, I love his attitude.
We have been really open with Michaela during this, she is aware that her daddy has a tumour in his head and it was giving him headaches. She now knows that the doctors are going to shrink it and then daddy will be all better. Wow I wish life were that simple!! She loves to go to the cancer clinic because they have great toys to play with, the people there are so nice.
My sister and BIL are here this week visiting and are such a wonderful couple, they are so Godly and such a spiritual connection for us. We have had a great time with them, my BIL as an elder in his church has anointed Ron with oil and prayed over him...such a powerful statement of faith.
I know that God can heal Ron, I have no doubts about it...He is all powerful. If it is His will then this tumour will be gone in an instant...I know that God has a plan for us.
Well that is about it for today!!
Monday, January 22, 2007
Selfishness or Sanity
Sometimes going through this I just want to run away. Yesterday was one of those days, I just wanted to have some time to myself. It started with a run to the drug store to pick up some cold medicine for Michaela and pain killers for Ron. I was also planning on attending church this weekend for the first time in a month...being away from home can be so hard. I had gone to a women's group called Take a Break last Thursday and it was so awesome. Michaela was able to go to a child's group at the same time and we both really enjoyed it. So I had planned on attending this church, they have Saturday evening and Sunday morning services. But Saturday evening we were going out for dinner with Ron's brothers as they were heading home the next day. Turns out Saturday morning my niece had come into town to take Michaela to a gymnastics competition to watch in the morning...which means I will be watching it as well....this means no church for me this week.
So many days are like this and mostly I don't have a problem, I love taking care of Ron while he is hurting I want to be a comfort to him during this time. I want my daughter to have fun things to do while we are so far from home and all things familiar, even though she doesn't know what is going on she knows daddy is sick.
When I have my selfish moments I pray for patience, God did give me my time yesterday. My brother and his family came into town in the afternoon and we went out together and left Ron and Michaela at home to nap together...it was great. I love spending time with them and sometimes I really do need to get out on my own.
I guess I shouldn't call them selfish moments...more sanity moments. Even though sometimes I do feel selfish taking some time to myself I always feel much more refreshed after it...and feel that I am better able to take care of my family.
So many days are like this and mostly I don't have a problem, I love taking care of Ron while he is hurting I want to be a comfort to him during this time. I want my daughter to have fun things to do while we are so far from home and all things familiar, even though she doesn't know what is going on she knows daddy is sick.
When I have my selfish moments I pray for patience, God did give me my time yesterday. My brother and his family came into town in the afternoon and we went out together and left Ron and Michaela at home to nap together...it was great. I love spending time with them and sometimes I really do need to get out on my own.
I guess I shouldn't call them selfish moments...more sanity moments. Even though sometimes I do feel selfish taking some time to myself I always feel much more refreshed after it...and feel that I am better able to take care of my family.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Even Bad Days End Well
Okay yesterday I had a bad day...only my sister knew this. I try and stay positive and happy around Ron and his family. I'm so thankful that I could open up to my sister...have I ever said how much I love my family!!
I picked up some insurance forms that Ron's oncologist filled out and on the way back "home" I was looking over them...seeing and hearing things are completely different. I know what the Dr's. have said about Ron's prognosis...they don't say good things. Seeing what they think in writing was so much harder for me.
After we got back my sister and I went out for a walk, I told her what the forms said...basically that the median survival rate for someone with his cancer is 18 months and where it asks for his return to work date...never. I know Ron doesn't read this so I can say these things, I didn't want him to see these forms. I'm sure some think that was wrong but I really want to keep some negative things away from him, he attitude is so good I think seeing that the doctors don't think he'll ever be able to work again would be demoralising.
Now I must say that we are very positive about Ron's chances, he is a strong and healthy young man...have I told you all that he is only 36. Most importantly, somethings that the doctors don't take into account is our faith. There are hundreds of people praying for Ron, God is amazing and can do the impossible and I have stated openly to God that I EXPECT A MIRACLE!!
So I may have my down times where I let myself be sad, I always make sure that these times end with prayer and the assurance that God is truly guiding us through this journey.
My bad day did end well, we had a visit from a wonder spiritual leader down here. We talked and he counselled us and we all prayed together and felt the Lord bless us.
I picked up some insurance forms that Ron's oncologist filled out and on the way back "home" I was looking over them...seeing and hearing things are completely different. I know what the Dr's. have said about Ron's prognosis...they don't say good things. Seeing what they think in writing was so much harder for me.
After we got back my sister and I went out for a walk, I told her what the forms said...basically that the median survival rate for someone with his cancer is 18 months and where it asks for his return to work date...never. I know Ron doesn't read this so I can say these things, I didn't want him to see these forms. I'm sure some think that was wrong but I really want to keep some negative things away from him, he attitude is so good I think seeing that the doctors don't think he'll ever be able to work again would be demoralising.
Now I must say that we are very positive about Ron's chances, he is a strong and healthy young man...have I told you all that he is only 36. Most importantly, somethings that the doctors don't take into account is our faith. There are hundreds of people praying for Ron, God is amazing and can do the impossible and I have stated openly to God that I EXPECT A MIRACLE!!
So I may have my down times where I let myself be sad, I always make sure that these times end with prayer and the assurance that God is truly guiding us through this journey.
My bad day did end well, we had a visit from a wonder spiritual leader down here. We talked and he counselled us and we all prayed together and felt the Lord bless us.
Monday, January 15, 2007
God's Blessings
I'm sure people will wonder what blessings we could have in our situation. We have had so many, we see the hand of God working every day in our lives.
When Ron was first diagnosed they were searching for a neurosurgeon who could operate on Ron (remember this was over Christmas), we were so fortunate they found one in Kelowna...instead of say Vancouver. We have family here as I stated in my first post, my brother also lives close by and I've gotten to spend a great amount of time with him and his family.
We found our motel with a great affordable rate, it is close to the cancer centre and it even has an indoor pool with makes our daughter Michaela so so so happy!! Oh yeah and it is a really nice place too...full kitchen, separate bedroom...all the comforts of home.
A big one for us is after we cashed in an RRSP we had a bit of extra money and I was able to get a belated Christmas present....my new laptop!! It was a great price and we are thrilled with it...oh and it gives me the ability to blog again!!
I'm not working and can spend all the time we need by my husband's side, his dad and step mom are retired and have been close by the whole time (when the weather is better they are bringing their motor home here).
My family is amazing, I'm the youngest of 8 children and I love them all so much and they have all been the best friends I could ever ask for. My sisters went in a cleaned up my house and have taken down my Christmas decorations...and even packed some extra stuff to send down to us (packing and doing laundry at midnight you tend to forget a few things). My big brother and his wife drove our van here so we'd be able to have our wheels (and I can even drive around here...okay I've gotten lost a few times) it is so nice to have a little piece of home with us. My sister has taken charge of our beloved Dixie Cat...she assures me that she is taking very good care of her. My sister and her husband who live on Vancouver Island surprised us with a visit and my BIL who is an elder in their church was able to anoint Ron with oil and pray over him...they have been such a great spiritual support for us.
We have had such support from our close friends with words of encouragement, prayers and even care packages (thanks Laura). Our home church has also been such a support to us, on elder has a brother who pastors a church close by and he has visited us, they have even offered to send our pastor down to spend some time with us...so touching.
As you can see we have so many blessings that I can't even list them all, we are strong in the Spirit and know that we are loved.
God is good and has blessed us in many ways that we can't even see, we will be finding a church to attend while we are here and know that God will continue to bless us. Most importantly He has given us the strength to get through this time together as a family, we have been strong through the stress and positive during times when we could have given up. We are all weak but our strength comes from God who we lean on every minute of the day!!
When Ron was first diagnosed they were searching for a neurosurgeon who could operate on Ron (remember this was over Christmas), we were so fortunate they found one in Kelowna...instead of say Vancouver. We have family here as I stated in my first post, my brother also lives close by and I've gotten to spend a great amount of time with him and his family.
We found our motel with a great affordable rate, it is close to the cancer centre and it even has an indoor pool with makes our daughter Michaela so so so happy!! Oh yeah and it is a really nice place too...full kitchen, separate bedroom...all the comforts of home.
A big one for us is after we cashed in an RRSP we had a bit of extra money and I was able to get a belated Christmas present....my new laptop!! It was a great price and we are thrilled with it...oh and it gives me the ability to blog again!!
I'm not working and can spend all the time we need by my husband's side, his dad and step mom are retired and have been close by the whole time (when the weather is better they are bringing their motor home here).
My family is amazing, I'm the youngest of 8 children and I love them all so much and they have all been the best friends I could ever ask for. My sisters went in a cleaned up my house and have taken down my Christmas decorations...and even packed some extra stuff to send down to us (packing and doing laundry at midnight you tend to forget a few things). My big brother and his wife drove our van here so we'd be able to have our wheels (and I can even drive around here...okay I've gotten lost a few times) it is so nice to have a little piece of home with us. My sister has taken charge of our beloved Dixie Cat...she assures me that she is taking very good care of her. My sister and her husband who live on Vancouver Island surprised us with a visit and my BIL who is an elder in their church was able to anoint Ron with oil and pray over him...they have been such a great spiritual support for us.
We have had such support from our close friends with words of encouragement, prayers and even care packages (thanks Laura). Our home church has also been such a support to us, on elder has a brother who pastors a church close by and he has visited us, they have even offered to send our pastor down to spend some time with us...so touching.
As you can see we have so many blessings that I can't even list them all, we are strong in the Spirit and know that we are loved.
God is good and has blessed us in many ways that we can't even see, we will be finding a church to attend while we are here and know that God will continue to bless us. Most importantly He has given us the strength to get through this time together as a family, we have been strong through the stress and positive during times when we could have given up. We are all weak but our strength comes from God who we lean on every minute of the day!!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
The Beginning
Well I'm going to change my blogging (not that I've been doing any for the last few months).
I've decided to blog about our journey through this time in our lives, it isn't fun, it isn't pretty but it is our lives right now.
On December 22, 2006 my husband Ron was diagnosed with a brain tumour, probably the most shocking news I've ever heard in my life. The next day we were 1,300 kms from home where he could get the medical care that isn't available where we live.
December 27th he had the biopsy and we found out it was inoperable and malignant...I couldn't control my tears. The next day he was released from the hospital and had an appointment at the cancer centre here in Kelowna, BC. We spent the next little while with Ron's mom who lives 45 minutes away from Kelowna.
On January 10th we arrived at the cancer centre for his appointment, we knew we would hear the final verdict...we were feeling very positive when we arrived. We sat with the Radiation Oncologist as she told us that he had a grade 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme...this is very bad. They can't get rid of the tumour, they can only try and control it.
I can't even describe what it felt like hearing those words, this man is the love of my life, the father of our beautiful 3 1/2 year old daughter and I'm being told that he only has a 25% chance of being alive in 2 years. I think I'm still a little numb...it is something I can't even comprehend.
His radiation and chemotherapy start on Jan 23rd and will go for 33 treatments (about 6 weeks), he will have chemo for 6 months and then we see what the tumour has done. He will have to see the medical oncologist every 3 months basically for the rest of his life.
We are still 1,300 kms away from home, we were so fortunate to find a great motel that has a wonderful rate for people having cancer treatment here. We have family nearby, Ron's dad and step mom are close by and spending each day with us (thank the Lord they are retired). I have a brother close by and a plethora of nieces all around here, also family who has been visiting us periodically.
We are so grateful to God that he has made that part of this journey much easier to bear. We have a strong faith that we know will carry us through this, we know God is holding us lovingly in his arms as we struggle.
I am blogging this for me, maybe some of you will get a little out of it. This has been a life changing time in our lives, something that I would have never thought would ever happen to me and yet here I am.
I've decided to blog about our journey through this time in our lives, it isn't fun, it isn't pretty but it is our lives right now.
On December 22, 2006 my husband Ron was diagnosed with a brain tumour, probably the most shocking news I've ever heard in my life. The next day we were 1,300 kms from home where he could get the medical care that isn't available where we live.
December 27th he had the biopsy and we found out it was inoperable and malignant...I couldn't control my tears. The next day he was released from the hospital and had an appointment at the cancer centre here in Kelowna, BC. We spent the next little while with Ron's mom who lives 45 minutes away from Kelowna.
On January 10th we arrived at the cancer centre for his appointment, we knew we would hear the final verdict...we were feeling very positive when we arrived. We sat with the Radiation Oncologist as she told us that he had a grade 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme...this is very bad. They can't get rid of the tumour, they can only try and control it.
I can't even describe what it felt like hearing those words, this man is the love of my life, the father of our beautiful 3 1/2 year old daughter and I'm being told that he only has a 25% chance of being alive in 2 years. I think I'm still a little numb...it is something I can't even comprehend.
His radiation and chemotherapy start on Jan 23rd and will go for 33 treatments (about 6 weeks), he will have chemo for 6 months and then we see what the tumour has done. He will have to see the medical oncologist every 3 months basically for the rest of his life.
We are still 1,300 kms away from home, we were so fortunate to find a great motel that has a wonderful rate for people having cancer treatment here. We have family nearby, Ron's dad and step mom are close by and spending each day with us (thank the Lord they are retired). I have a brother close by and a plethora of nieces all around here, also family who has been visiting us periodically.
We are so grateful to God that he has made that part of this journey much easier to bear. We have a strong faith that we know will carry us through this, we know God is holding us lovingly in his arms as we struggle.
I am blogging this for me, maybe some of you will get a little out of it. This has been a life changing time in our lives, something that I would have never thought would ever happen to me and yet here I am.
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