Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Journey

Once again I have to post about the end of this journey. Ron has been in the hospital for the last week after a very rapid decline. He became quite weak and has lost his hearing, quite a devastating turn for someone who also lost his sight.

The CT Scan showed that the tumor has grown substantially, the Dr. called it a monster. He sleeps most of the time, but we do still find ways to communicate.

We know the end is near and we just have to wait and be with him. I'm so angry, sad, hurt and brokenhearted.

I've talked to Michaela about what is going on, she has taken things quite well...she is sad but knows that her daddy will always be with her.

Thank you all for your prayers, I know Ron isn't in any pain and he is at peace...I'm so thankful for that blessing.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Seizures and Ranting!!

Seizures are awful...they completely take everything out of Ron.

We have tried to control them with medication but he still has them when he is stressed. He had a doctor's appointment yesterday and he was doing great, got to the van really strong. Then in the doctor's office he had a seizure...I feel so helpless when these happen. He was feeling good so we got him in his wheelchair and back home...then I couldn't get him in the house. I had one of our neighbours come and get him up the stairs in his wheelchair...praise God Chris was home!!!

There are times when I'm so angry, as if it isn't bad enough that Ron has cancer...but he is also blind, can't walk unassisted, has seizures and gets so confused. I'm not sure why we are going through this, it is so hard to see Ron like this. Some days the blessings aren't so clear.

I look at our life and what is has become, I would never believe that something like this has happened to us. I long for the days when we could just go for a walk, go for a drive, have a picnic...just be a normal family. I never realized how much I took the simple pleasures in life for granted.

This is a pretty downer post, but I'm not feeling so positive today. I try and always sound positive to Ron, but sometimes I just like to let things out.