Saturday, April 21, 2007

Missing my Life

I think there are times where I'm too positive...I know, I know...how can you be too positive.

I'm always the one who says things are great, Ron is doing so well...everything is just wonderful. It isn't always that way...today was one of those days. Ron had a seizure when we were heading out in the afternoon, we went for a walk yesterday and it was great... he didn't make it out today. My brother and his family were here for dinner tonight and Ron was really fighting a seizure...he didn't go right into it but came pretty close.

It is hard, it is so hard to watch a once strong man who took care of his family have to be helped up and back into a chair. The fact that he can't be left on his own because of his blindness and mobility issues. It is hard to try and balance myself between my daughter and my husband. Trying to see that Michaela doesn't miss too much because of Ron's illness I don't want her resenting her daddy because she can't do some things.

Don't get me wrong, I know all of the things I have to be thankful for. I have a loving supportive family, a wonderful church family and a loving caring God. But I miss my life from 6 months ago, I miss what we had, I miss being carefree...I miss Ron.

1 comment:

Cathy said...

Annie, dear,

Thank you for commenting on my blog. I'm so sorry to have to become aquainted with you through this awful disease. I miss my life, too. I miss my life when my life was taking care of Lou, let alone, life BEFORE the bt. All I can say is, try to focus on what you DO have in this new life. On what you CAN do. On the love you and Ron still share. Focus on whatever good there is today. Sending prayers and love.
Cathy b.
www.lessonsfromlou.blogspot.com