New Blog

Well as this journey ended a new one has begun. I've started a new blog about my life as it has changed and how I'm making things work..."It's My Life".

Service

We had Ron's memorial yesterday, it was so beautiful and full of joy. I know that by the blood of Jesus Ron is saved and celebrating in Heaven. I miss him terribly and know I will until I see him again, but I have such peace knowing that soon we will be together for eternity.

All of my 7 brothers and sisters have been by my side this week, I'm so thankful for all of them...God blessed me with such an amazing family. I'm heading out of town for a couple of weeks, kind of like adult running away from home....but I am taking Michaela and the dog with me...oh and it is to my sister and brother-in-law's place...okay it isn't like running away at all.

Thank you all for your prayers!!!

Ron's Passing

Ron passed away today at 8:35am. He was peaceful and I was by his side.

I will miss him until we are together again!!

Update

Well Ron continues to fight, he is such a strong man. He still can't hear or see, but is able to tell us what he needs or asks questions that we can nod or shake his head yes or no.

He is eating and drinking really well, I think that is really keeping him strong...he has such a fight to live.

I'm still staying at the hospital with him, they brought in a bed for me so I didn't have to sleep on the couch anymore...unless Michaela stays with us then she wants the bed.

Oh and one night in the hospital parking lot last week someone smashed in my van windows and stole my CDs (they were all Christian music so maybe they will do them some good), can you believe that...getting it all fixed up though. My church has offered to replace my CDs...I thought that was so sweet!! To be honest I didn't care about the van or the CDs things can always be replaced, it is amazing how little I cared, I was more concerned about the time it would take away from Ron.

We are all doing as well as we can and spending a lot of time in prayer and just being with Ron. Even while in a hospital bed I still look at him as the same handsome, strong man that I fell in love with and continue to love with all my heart!!

The Journey

Once again I have to post about the end of this journey. Ron has been in the hospital for the last week after a very rapid decline. He became quite weak and has lost his hearing, quite a devastating turn for someone who also lost his sight.

The CT Scan showed that the tumor has grown substantially, the Dr. called it a monster. He sleeps most of the time, but we do still find ways to communicate.

We know the end is near and we just have to wait and be with him. I'm so angry, sad, hurt and brokenhearted.

I've talked to Michaela about what is going on, she has taken things quite well...she is sad but knows that her daddy will always be with her.

Thank you all for your prayers, I know Ron isn't in any pain and he is at peace...I'm so thankful for that blessing.

Seizures and Ranting!!

Seizures are awful...they completely take everything out of Ron.

We have tried to control them with medication but he still has them when he is stressed. He had a doctor's appointment yesterday and he was doing great, got to the van really strong. Then in the doctor's office he had a seizure...I feel so helpless when these happen. He was feeling good so we got him in his wheelchair and back home...then I couldn't get him in the house. I had one of our neighbours come and get him up the stairs in his wheelchair...praise God Chris was home!!!

There are times when I'm so angry, as if it isn't bad enough that Ron has cancer...but he is also blind, can't walk unassisted, has seizures and gets so confused. I'm not sure why we are going through this, it is so hard to see Ron like this. Some days the blessings aren't so clear.

I look at our life and what is has become, I would never believe that something like this has happened to us. I long for the days when we could just go for a walk, go for a drive, have a picnic...just be a normal family. I never realized how much I took the simple pleasures in life for granted.

This is a pretty downer post, but I'm not feeling so positive today. I try and always sound positive to Ron, but sometimes I just like to let things out.

Chemo

Ron's chemo finished on Sunday, it wasn't as easy this month as it has been. I understand that the drug can build up in the body, that would explain this month. Ron was a bit nauseous (never happened before), and really really tired.

When anything different happens I go through the fear that something is changing with is tumor. He has been sleeping quite a bit lately and if it continues I think I'll have to call the doctor, I'm thinking that it is still from his chemo...but I hope it doesn't continue too much longer.

I had a wonderful visit with my sister this weekend, I was so sad when she left...I just love my family. They have been such a huge support system going through all of this.

Just a short post today, not too much else going on.